So Jack was married to Meg and they started a band and they divorced not long after their band started but they remained together as a band and claimed they were brother and sister even after it was proved that they were married and then Jack met Alison and Jamie and who the fuck knows what happened between them back then because suddenly they’re touring together with Jack’s other band the Raconteurs and then Alison is singing for Jack and hugging him and clinging to him on stage and then Jack and Alison start a band together with some members of the Raconteurs and the sexual tension between Jack and Alison is unbelievable you can tell just by seeing PICTURES of them on stage and if Alison was a guy you’d be sure Jack is gay and in the mean time Jack is married but he cheats on his wife with Alison whenever he sings Will There Be Enough Water and then Jack and his sister/ex-wife/best friend Meg decide to disband and years ago Jack got married to Karen and Meg was at the wedding and then Meg gets married in Jack’s, her ex-husband, backyard, and who knows what the fuck happened to Meg after the White Stripes and then there’s pictures of Alison and Karen together so okay they must be friends and then the Dead Weather stops performing and then suddenly JACK AND KAREN ARE GETTING A DIVORCE but he still calls her his wife and wears his wedding ring and he has kids with her and like two weeks before they announced their divorce Jack was kissing Karen on stage and in the mean time Jamie is married to Kate Moss when really Alison is his soulmate but Alison and Jack are also soulmates but so are Meg and Jack and Karen and Jack and Alison and Jack are always at each other’s concerts for their own bands and hanging out and making faces at each other so like they’re still good friends but what is going on
oh yeah and in between Meg and Karen Jack apparently dated Renee Zellweger
Ew….Renee Zellweger.. :/
